The Smith's are Christ - needy

Friends, In case you didn't get the email: We need your prayers. Not that we didn't need them since the last prayer letter, we're just too self-assured to ask that often.I tend to think that most people see an email like this and begin to strategize ways of cutting Amy and I out of their lives because being this hungry for prayer makes me uncomfortable - it must make others uncomfortable. So, messed up, uncomfortable, broken (feeling a lot like the awkward smelly man that you wished wouldn't sit next to you every Sunday at church), I ask all of you for prayer:

• Pray for thankfulness. Amy and I disdain our present circumstances and we are anxious instead of worshipful.
• Pray for sleep if you pray for anything at all. Pray that Brighton would turn a corner and begin to sleep for longer. This week he has been up on an average of every hour, and often doesn't go back to sleep. Pray that we would have the guts to ask people to watch Brighton while Amy and I catch a long nap.
• Pray for Mercy, and for merciful hearts. We need the Lord's mercy now, and we want very much that this time would teach us to offer others mercy more quickly.

Please let Amy and I know how we can pray for YOU also. We want to be part of a culture of prayer. If you care to know more detail, why we need these prayers, read on: A supervisor of mine was recently commenting on my generations shock at realizing that life is hard: "I've been reading the Psalms for awhile now, and its clear - life has sucked for a long time." Amy and I have both been shocked again, for the umpteenth time to find out that life is extremely disappointing, and that our expectation for consistent health, and good welfare, is a poor one - in fact we have believed a lie. We are both extremely exhausted. We have probably not had any less sleep than many parents of newborns, I don't think we are a special case, but I ask for prayer for us because this lack of sleep is causing me to stumble, is causing both of us to stumble. I have become a enemy to myself and my family. I cannot think and so I react to everything like an animal. I have been angry at just about anything worth being angry about. I have yelled at Brighton several times this week. (mind you, it was in private, so that no one would know I was yelling at him). I shut down in a way that leaves Amy feeling left alone, and I retreat to the things that ask nothing of me. Mostly my artwork on my mac - which is quickly becoming an idol of rest and solitude for me. I love my family more than anything on earth, and I am failing them utterly. I believe a lot of it has to do with NOT getting enough sleep. If I were more rested I could adequately approach Jesus for help, as is, I am struggling to believe in him at all! Does this sound intense? Yeah I think so too, and life doesn't have to be this intense, but I think it gets here when our perceptions about life are not centered in the eternal hope of Christ, and instead are latched on to a temporal hope that Jesus must make our immediate lives better or else he's a liar. If you're like me, you have often mis-used Scripture to back this up. Convinced! Please pray, And again, please let Amy and I know how we can pray with you. Lets be a culture of Christ needy people, so that Christ-needy people don't feel pitiful, but feel CHRISTIAN!, Love yall, Matthew